I am officialy a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM for the blogging world, i think ;) ). Anyway, I officially notified Napoleon Area Schools that I will not be returning in the fall.
So let's talk about this... NEVER EVER would I have told you that I would want to be a stay at home mom. That's crazy! I am a people person, I love to interact face-to-face, I get bored easily, etc. To be at home with only my kids all day?! NO WAY!....well now Yes way!
Don't get me wrong during this year's leave there have been ups and downs. Some ups: I love spending quality, non-distracted, non-stressful time with my children; I am pleased to be "teaching" my children through interacting and playing; I have appreciated and cherished focusing on my marriage and husband more. And the most important benefit has been focusing on my relationship with the Lord and finding a longing to serve.
As I felt all of those emotions over the past few months, along with many others I mean I am a woman! The downs: I struggled with feeling like I wasn't making a difference, like I had no significance or purpose. I tremendously miss students; I miss teaching them in many aspects, I miss bonding and joking and aiding and supporting and encouraging; I miss seeing the light bulb go on; I miss the triumphs and the hardships. I also miss my colleagues. I was just beginning to form some very good friendships and the district was headed in a really good direction, very student-focused. I still do miss and will miss all of these things as long as I am out of the classroom.
So how did I, along with my husband, make this decision? I prayed and prayed and prayed.
About two months ago Tommy basically asked me to stay home. With how much he travels and is gone, a lot of times last minute, he was concerned for my stress level and ability to balance everything. But the part that made me really think more was his sincere desire to have me home with our kids. He said look at where E is at, don't you want that for M, too. I never realized that was important to him. Before this conversation I was pretty certain I would go back.
So now that I was confused and hourly back and forth about the decision, I left it up to God.
Two things that really affected me were the bible verse Philippians 1:6 and the quote from the book The Christian Athiest where pastor Craig Groeschel says, "God's love for you is personal- it graces you with significance."
I prayed over this verse and this quote and found that although I LOVE teaching and miss being in the classroom. That is not where I should find my significance. I should find it in the Lord. Ultimately, THIS is what made my decision easy to stay home for now. The Lord has a plan for me and it may look different than i would have EVER imagined, but I am confident that he will complete his work in me.
I am excited for all he has in store for me. Right now I am feeling very led to serving moms: working moms, stay at home moms, new moms, seasoned moms, etc. My first step was starting this blog....now that I know I will be home on a more short-term permanent basis, my next step is a Mom's community. Please pray for me and if you have any questions or ideas please feel free to share.
I am excited for my new job and pray that I am daily serving God's purpose whatever it may be. Who doesn't want to be this wife described in Proverbs 31. May the Holy Spirit guide me down the path toward this woman, be it His will!
Proverbs 31:28-30
28 Her children stand and bless her.
Her husband praises her:
29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
but you surpass them all!”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
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