Tandem Bike

I know, I know, you're disappointed that you didn't see me and someone else foolishly trying to ride a tandem bike! BUT, this is so much better (well, I think it is anyway!).

So before I get into the whole tandem bike thing, I need to get it off my chest about this HUGE hiatus I have taken, yet again. I am sort of disappointed and sort of encouraged.

 I am disappointed because I promised myself this would be the thing I didn't do this with blog. I wouldn't be all excited, but then fail to follow through as I often do; however, I have! Not necessarily failed, but not done with it what I wanted. (Herein lies another issue;))

I am, on the other hand, encouraged because I have been feeling really urged again, but not to do what I want,  rather what God wants. I have ignored this urge the last few weeks (bad me!), and finally this morning I was praying that God make me open my heart to the Holy Spirit more and see what I am supposed to be doing, and it was like he said, DUH MIRANDA! I have been telling you to write that post on the tandem bike thought you had....

SO, Here I am. Back at it! I pray (and you can too!) that I keep this up, not because I think I am a great writer, or that you all realize just how hilarious I am, but because I truly feel like God's plan for me is to serve others, especially women, even more particuarly, moms. (that is a terrible run-on, but I am just going to leave it!)

Okay already, Miranda: The Tandem Bike.

So about a month ago, I was running the lovely hills of Madeira, OH (Cincinnati), and I was struggling to push the jogging stroller up that last big hill. I looked forward to try and search for some motivation, and, lo and behold, I saw it (ps tears and chills here). I saw a woman standing up on her bike to fight up the SAME silly hill, only her bike looked weird, the front wheel was way in front of her. Then, I looked more closely and saw a man's head rising above hers and I realized, oh my, she is on a tandem bike.

          At this point some are probably thinking, Miranda were you remembering to breathe??  

             Because, it is NOT difficult to distinguish a regular bike from a tandem bike.

The reason I didn't realize it was that she and her husband were LITERALLY in sync COMPLETELY. The only reason I even saw him was he had a good 9-12 inches on her!

Next question, what the heck does this have to do with a blog about being a mom?!

Well, I am so glad you asked! Often times as a mother, we neglect our duties as a wife, and I have felt VERY convicted about this lately (I will get into that on another post). But one of the realizations I have made is that Tommy and I need our marriage and our parenting to be like that tandem bike.

It has to be him in the front and me behind trusting that if I allow him to lead me and we stay in perfect sync, that we will make it up any silly hill life throws at us.

 In the past, I am pretty sure Tommy and I have been riding on separate bikes, in different directions.

I would not say that we are yet that couple I saw during my run, but I am confident that, thanks to God, we are at least riding in the same direction right next to one another. And with our focus in the right place, and our hearts and minds centered around God's plan and purpose, we will most certainly ride that tandem bike into eternity.

We are so blessed by so many people in our lives who care about us as individuals, us as a married couple and most importantly, that care about our children. I am encouraged.

My closing thoughts and prayers are that all couples and parents, Tommy and myself included, would have this as their goal , such that someone from "behind" can't even tell you're two separate people because you're working in such unison. Our children will be undoubetdly blessed because of it.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

New International Version (NIV)

⁹ Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:¹⁰ If either of them falls down,one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.¹¹ Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?¹² Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

UPDATE:)

Okay so it has been foreeeeeever since I got on here. There have been a ton of things running through my heart and my mind and for some reason I was not finding it in me to get on here, but my heart has been yelling at my mind (and fingers!) to get back at it. So here are some updates!!

1) Momma Moments: I am still trying to get this "Mom Community" up and running. A lot of people seem to be interested but schedules and planning have been hard to coordinate and have attendance for the events I have tried hosting. I pray (and ask for prayer requests, as well) that I continue to try because I truly believe that the Lord has placed it on my heart to serve moms because it is what HE wants me to do. Thus, I need to remember that it is not about me! I will remain encouraged that if it is His will, it will become something. 
    
     Romans 8:28 And we know that God cuases everything to work toegether for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

2) Life as a Stay at Home Mom: I absolutely love being a mom. And we made the decision to stay at home for a LOT of reasons, and we truly believe after prayer and discussion that it is THE best decision. Unfortunately, that doesn't always make it easy! I have been struggling a little bit lately....not regretting the decision and not wanting to be anywhere else...just doubting myself as a mom, wishing I had an outlet for some of my frustrations, and some days experiencing feelings of apathy. I am soooo grateful for the Lord's grace that he calls out to me to seek Him in these  moments...to take a step back, take a deep breath, count my blessings and hit restart;).

Coping strategies:
*Prayer, prayer, prayer
*Truly relying on and trusting in God
*Talking to Tommy more and relying on him both emotionally and logistically.
*Running (I have cut my pace by over a minute!!)
*Thirty One Businesss ( I AM SOOOO EXCITED)
*Bible Study/Accountability Partners

3)The Perazzos:
Husband and Wife: Like any marriage, ours has its ups and downs....sometimes these swings happen month by month and other times hour by hour! The important thing is that we continue to work on things. I am so thankful for what Tommy provides for us and encouraged by the fact that no matter what is going on, neither of us would ever want to be anywhere else with anyone else. It is our goal to seek the Lord more in our marriage, both invidually and as one. The verse we focused on when we were dating/engaged comes to mind as we refocus our lives and our marriage to be Christ-centered such that we will raise children who love Jesus and others with a whole,  unconditional and unwavering love.

      Ecclesiastes 4:12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Parents: We have been feeling very convicted and challenged to be certain that we are intentional in our parenting. We want to make sure we are discussing more together what we want to do (instead of me just deciding...read: I am working on control issues;)). We want to raise our children in a way that is pleasing to the Lord and that leads them to want the same for themselves.
Positive side: We have found a great group of strong Christian parents that we are in community with that serve as mentors, friends and encouragers in this process.
Difficult side: Ethan has become quite challenging with his personality, at times. He gets VERY frustrated and often  hits us and tends to be aggressive toward others. We are trying to figure out the cause and the best mode of discipline (suggestions are welcome! so is prayer!)
     Ephesians 6:4 Parents, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.


Children: AHHHH! Here lies my pride, my love, my blessing. I sincerely adore my children. I feel as though I love them more and in a new way EVERY DAY!! Challenges and all...I am truly blessed.



Ethan: He turned 2 on May 15 following a fun-filled weekend with a Bubble Guppies birthday party, a baptism, lots of family :), and a trip to the zoo. He is beginning to talk more, a little bit in phrases. He has a large vocabulary, can identify just about anything we see, can count to 20, knows most letters and numbers, but still has not mastered actually communicating. Lord help us when he does, I think he got most of his personality traits from his dad, but talking from his mom! He is so full of life and emotion, he LOVES anything that "goes" (weeee) and he absolutely adores his sister "Mimi".

Here he is rolling on the ground laughing, this captures what he is like MOST of the time. His laughter fills my heart with joy.

We had quite the challenge getting his 2 year pictures done, but when we got this "cycle" out, we had a happy boy. "Weeeeee" was his word of choice for about 10 minutes.

Just a glimpse of that brotherly adoration and admiration I mentioned. Makes a momma smile.

Mia: Little Miss Thang is doing awesome! She is also so full of life. Everyone tells us that she is the most smiley baby they have ever seen, and she truly is, until she is hungry! OH man do not let this diva be hungry. She is eating well and has not rejected any food we have given her. In the last month she has gotten two teeth, started crawling, standing assisted, and babbling...A LOT. The girls likes to sleep as much as her brother. Here are a few of my favorites of her:).



She definitely showed her brother up at the photo shoot. You would have thought she was a model, she knew just what to do for the camera.

She aspires to be like big bro and already likes cars, too. I think she looks so old here and actually looks like Ethan a little bit (maybe its the no headband!)

First high chair at a restaurant and she thought she was big stuff! We even let her try the inside potato part of the wedges.

Just another example of how genuinely happy she is. Here she is trying to keep up with Ethan and learn her ABCs.

I know it was a lot, but its been a long time. I love sharing with others and appreciate support and encouragement. My hopes are to get more serious about this because I really want to reach out and serve moms, connections are important. So, lets connect! 

Momma Guilt

Isn't Mom guilt the worst thing ever?! I had planned on this topic later on after more thought, prayer and "research" on it, but it has really been on my  mind and heart so I decided that meant I should share now!

So here are some instances in which this "guilt" I speak of creeps in for me.

1) When I have feelings that I need a "break"....
These come and go, mostly when Tommy has been out of town or really busy with work and/or when the weather or kids doesn't allow us to get out of the house much. I just want to go to Target and walk around with no purpose, I want to go to Barnes and Noble and read and write and play on my computer, I want to not have to make and clean up from three meals a day. I have these thoughts and then I get overwhelmed and start thinking things like:

               "It would be so much easier if E just weren't here for like 2 hours and I could  get the house cleaned or projects done more easily"
                guilt: HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT?! YOU LOVE HIM! WHY WOULD YOU NOT WANT HIM HERE, THAT IS TERRIBLE TO SAY/THINK!
               "It will be nice when M isn't nursing so it doesn't dictate our schedule"
                guilt: YOU WANT TO WISH  AWAY THE NEXT SIX MONTHS?! YOU LOVE NURSING AND CHOSE THAT, IT ISN'T HER FAULT!

Then in creeps the guilt...why would I think these things....this is what I chose, this is my responsibility as a mother and a wife, I should feel blessed to have these awesome blessings and the opportunity to be able to stay home with them.... then the justification ... Duh, I am thankful for that, I just need a break sometimes, don't we all?! CALM DOWN MIRANDA;).

2) When I take that "break" and its effects on both my kids and my husband...

So, I finally do it, I decide to get out without the kids. I am thoroughly enjoying myself, slowly walking through aisles, sitting and reading for as long as I want, etc. Then...
     guilt:   "Tommy is home with both of them, by himself. I should probably get home."
     justificiation: He is their dad, he is nearly 30 and can definitely handle it. If not, he can figure out what he needs to do!
     guilt:    "Ethan probably isn't eating the same thing he would if I were there."
    justificiation: He will live:) and his habits will not be gone with one meal!
     guilt: It's late and I have been gone for xx hours.
    justificiation: The kids are in bed and Tommy is loving watching SportsCenter without you nagging him! What does it  matter?!

You get the point;)

3) When I enjoy myself when I am away....

Mostly I just plain feel guilty. Like it makes me a horrible mother that I am enjoying myself because i am FINALLY alone. I don't think it takes much rational thinking or explanation to realize that this does not, in fact, make me a horrible mother! It means that for 25 years I could do all of those things freely and it is nice (and important) to get (and take) that opportunity...nothing to be guilty about...silly Miranda!

4) When I see other kids behaving well or speaking better or doing more...am I enough? do I do enough?

Obviously this is a follow-up on the perfectionist thing. I constantly feel guilty that I am not doing enough to make E a better kid and begin to wonder.

Do I do too many things "for me" during the day? Almost your entire day is devoted to the kids and you stop what you're doing if it seems either of them needs attention. It is also important for them to learn independence at times.
Should I give more attention to him and to M? 1: see above; 2: most kids are at a sitter or daycare and share attention and they turn out GREAT!
Does he watch too much tv? He watches 1.5 hours tops of tv a day, most times less. The shows are educational and you interact with him during the shows.
Do I not talk with him enough that he is not talking in sentences more? He says and does new things every day, he likes to learn and has a good attention span. Wait, were you afraid that YOU, MIRANDA PERAZZO doesn't talk enough...c'mon?!

...guilt, guilt, guilt....silliness is what it is..
5) When I just want to relax during the day...not get dressed, clean up, cook meals, etc. (more to come on this!)

Really I just feel guilty that I have these feelings, nothing to deep to evaluate; just a reality.
Sometimes it is literally a minute to minute battle for me to fight the feelings I have about this guilt and justification and the round-about thinking that ensues and makes me doubt everything about which other days I have total and utter confidence!

My battle right now is to let God prevail. I struggle to realize and remember these feelings are not a coincidence...Satan wants to get his hold on me! I am not and cannot be perfect (see post (mperfect Perfectionsit) ;however, to God, it is perfect if I am seeking to live a Christ-like life, I am repentant of my sins, and I am telling others about Jesus. Thus, I will continue to battle Satan and these guilty thoughts because the reality is that I want to please God above all else (yes....even my husband, my children, and those evil societal standards and judgements for mothers and stay at home moms!).
Please pray for me and with me that I, and ALL MOMS, will release this ugly momma guilt and trust that it is okay to have these feelings and take this time because in the end it will likely make you an even better mom and most certainly a better servant of the Almighty! What a "momma moment"! ;)

Coming soon.... (please hold me accountable!)
My "vision" for Momma Moments
Everyday Update
Expectations: Excellent or Evil
Working Multiple "Jobs"

New Job

Well amidst the new journey that is this blog, I add a new, well more official and more permanent (for now) vocation.
I am officialy a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM for the blogging world, i think ;) ). Anyway, I officially notified Napoleon Area Schools that I will not be returning in the fall.

So let's talk about this... NEVER EVER would I have told you that I would want to be a stay at home mom. That's crazy! I am a people person, I love to interact face-to-face, I get bored easily, etc. To be at home with only my kids all day?! NO WAY!....well now Yes way!

Don't get me wrong during this year's leave there have been ups and downs. Some ups: I love spending quality, non-distracted, non-stressful time with my children; I am pleased to be "teaching" my children through interacting and playing; I have appreciated and cherished focusing on my marriage and husband more. And the most important benefit has been focusing on my relationship with the Lord and finding a longing to serve.

As I felt all of those emotions over the past few months, along with many others I mean I am a woman! The downs: I struggled with feeling like I wasn't making a difference, like I had no significance or purpose. I tremendously miss students; I miss teaching them in many aspects, I miss bonding and joking and aiding and supporting and encouraging; I miss seeing the light bulb go on; I miss the triumphs and the hardships. I also miss my colleagues. I was just beginning to form some very good friendships and the district was headed in a really good direction, very student-focused. I still do miss and will miss all of these things as long as I am out of the classroom.

So how did I, along with my husband, make this decision? I prayed and prayed and prayed.

About two months ago Tommy basically asked me to stay home. With how much he travels and is gone, a lot of times last minute, he was concerned for my stress level and ability to balance everything. But the part that made me really think more was his sincere desire to have me home with our kids. He said look at where E is at, don't you want that for M, too. I never realized that was important to him. Before this conversation I was pretty certain I would go back.

So now that I was confused and hourly back and forth about the decision, I left it up to God.

Two things that really affected me were the bible verse Philippians 1:6 and the quote from the book The Christian Athiest where pastor Craig Groeschel says, "God's love for you is personal- it graces you with significance."

I prayed over this verse and this quote and found that although I LOVE teaching and miss being in the classroom. That is not where I should find my significance. I should find it in the Lord. Ultimately, THIS is what made my decision easy to stay home for now. The Lord has a plan for me and it may look different than i would have EVER imagined, but I am confident that he will complete his work in me.

I am excited for all he has in store for me. Right now I am feeling very led to serving moms: working moms, stay at home moms, new moms, seasoned moms, etc. My first step was starting this blog....now that I know I will be home on a more short-term permanent basis, my next step is a Mom's community. Please pray for me and if you have any questions or ideas please feel free to share.

I am excited for my new job and pray that I am daily serving God's purpose whatever it may be. Who doesn't want to be this wife described in Proverbs 31. May the Holy Spirit guide me down the path toward this woman, be it His will!

Proverbs 31:28-30
²⁸ Her children stand and bless her.
Her husband praises her:
²⁹ “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
but you surpass them all!”

³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.

Everyday Blessings

So I have been wondering when my mind/heart would choose the next post (I have a list of topics I have been thinking about) and then this morning I felt the urge to share how blessed I feel right now.

It is 6:33 and I just got done running. I am not including that to boast, I am including that because I never would have told you one year ago when I was miserably sick and still a little anxious at the beginning of our second (and unexpected) pregnancy that I would be just completing a 3 mile run at 6:30 in the morning and being excited about it!

Mia got up to eat a little earlier than normal today (4:30!) and both kids were making noises and I couldn't sleep so I thought, why not run?! Okay bring us back to my point. When I got home I just realized how blessed I am... to be healthy enough to run, to have healthy children who sleep well and love unconditionally (trust me even though I make Ethan cry often  because of that dreaded two letter word, N-O, he loves me with all his heart). I have a husband who provides for us so much so that I do not have to work right now! We both have amazing families who love support and help us out without hesitation. (Okay there are a LOT of other blessings but I have to stop somewhere...BUT...if you're reading this, I probably count you as a blessing as well;) )

Most importantly we have a God who is the definition of unconditional love...no matter how many times we turn our backs or neglect our relationship with him and ignore his grace and our salvation, he welcomes us with open arms. He has a plan. A Blessing.

 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6 ESV)

I have NO doubts that the current state of our marriage, our family, my heart is a result of seeking who and what God wants me to be rather than what I or others say I should be. I am certain I am still far from it...but I am forging on!

 I sincerely feel so grateful to have time off of work to focus on being a mom, a wife, and most importantly, God's child. I hope you are able to find everyday blessings amidst whatever life season you find yourself in!
Here is a glimpse of life with my two most special every day blessings;)...

E is 22 months. Has a lot of words in his vocabulary but is just starting to string them together as phrases. He loves playing with cars and trucks, coloring or "writing", doing puzzles and watching Bubble Guppies!

M is 5 months. She sleeps well at night, eats a lot, smiles often. Tries to roll over but has only gotten side to side and is trying to work off that chub by always trying to sit up even though she can't! She loves people watching, playing with her dolly, eating cereal, and observing her crazy big bro!

The flu hit hard last week especially for E... it was so hard to see him in pain and not be himself for so long, but we made it through and yet again I found myself thanking and praising God that it was just "a bug" because I cannot imagine it being something more serious or permanent and my heart and prayers go to any moms who do deal with that!


E actually laid on the couch...he obviously was not feeling well!



Later in the week...finally doing a little better...wearing his "haaaat"

My baby girl growing too fast! Size 9 mo pjs!

She's ready to "play". She gets bored easily and I have to move her all around!



The Imperfect Perfectionist

I have always called myself an "imperfect perfectionist" because I have the desire for all results (school, work, kids, husband, family, etc) to be "perfect", but I am not naturally organized or habited or committed in the planning and execution of the steps to getting those perfect results. Let me tell you, it is not easy to live that way!

Because of my perfectionist personality, I put a lot of pressure on myself and experience a lot of disappointment. Can any moms relate to this? As I have been working on figuring out how to be the best me possible, I have realized how flawed this perception and expectation of oneself is! (pretty dense of me to take 27 years to do so, huh??)

For starters, what is "perfect" anyway? I am going to reference Merriam-Webster's first 3 definitions of the adjective: a. being entirely without fault or defect. b. satisfying all requirements c. corresponding to an ideal standard or abstract concept.

The question that has been in my mind, and is even moreso after reading these definitions, is who am I trying to be perfect for? My husband? My kids? Society? Myself? God? Because if this idea of being "perfect" is according to an "ideal standard", who do I believe sets the standard?; and if it is truly an "abstract concept", how can it really be measured or defined?

In reality, it is the unattainable goals manifested by my own "perfect" standards, which are completely irrational and likely driven by society's pressure to be the biggest (well actually the thinnest!) and the best, that ultimately lead to the feelings of inadequacy, failure and disappointment.

 So, in all that mumbo jumbo, I think the realization needs to be that "perfect" in these regards is unattainable for anyone. No matter what it is I set out to do, there will be a flaw because the only person setting these standard is me, and we already established I am flawed and irrational ;).

My kids and husband do not require perfection of me. They desire true and unconditional love from a mom and wife who values herself in God's eyes and in their eyes. And through these eyes...

....I feel nothing but love and affirmation.

Also, in Hebrews 10:12-14 (NLT) it reads..

¹² But our High Priest offered himself to God as a single sacrifice for sins, good for all time. Then he sat down in the place of honor at God’s right hand. ¹³ There he waits until his enemies are humbled and made a footstool under his feet. ¹⁴ For by that one offering he forever made perfect those who are being made holy.

WOW... so, perfection has NOTHING to do with me, Christ's sacrifice at the cross makes me holy and perfect....well golly, what a blessing that I don't have to worry about being so imperfectly perfect all the time! As always, if I would just consistently rely on the Lord and ignore what society says...surprise, surprise: problem solved, disaster averted.

In closing, if at the end of each day I can say I loved with all my heart, I tried with all I had, I served God's purpose and embraced my salvation, then it was as close to perfect that the day (and I) can ever be.

I have hope that I will continue to work on accepting being imperfect in my own eyes and give myself a break because thanks to the grace of God and the love he offers me through Tommy, Mia and Ethan, I am perfect. What a blessed momma moment!

I will be praying any mommas reading this experience this as well.

Give it a Whirl

Hello friends (and strangers!)  :) I have been contemplating a blog for a while and always told myself it wasn't a good idea: I wouldn't keep up with it, I would spend too much time on it, I would be sad if people didn't like it, etc. Well today I felt really urged or pushed for some reason to start it, so I did just that!

I have been blessed with the opportunity to spend this school year out of the classroom and at home with my awesome babies (that's the M and the E in the blog title!) As I have prayed over my time off, I believe there is more that I am led to do than just be a temporary stay at home Momma!

My heart right now is for moms...all kinds... busy working moms (I feel ya!), stay at home moms who struggle with the balance (lookin' in the mirror), stay at home moms who have it all figured out (can ya help a girl out?!) and any mom who just loves being a mom, but needs "momma moments"...those moments where you get a break for a second for whatever reason: to stop and be thankful for who you are what you have, to have some alone time to re-center and decide what it takes today to be the best you can be today, to connect with other moms as friends and confidants, and all the other momma moments for which we need to slow down, have perspective, and cherish!

So welcome to my journey whatever that may be! Prayers, suggestions, questions, etc. are all gladly welcomed with a warm and open heart. Let us all share our momma moments and live life to its fullest as God intended:)

Today, I would like to share a verse that has been on my mind and in my heart that probably led me to try this out!

1 Corinthians 12:12 The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ.
12:18 But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. (NLT)

Maybe this blog is just where God wants me to be, maybe it is just a stepping stone to that place or maybe it is nowhere near there; but I am praying that I figure that out, so why not "give it a whirl"!

My momma moment assignment for today/tonight is... As you are scrolling through your facebook feed or addictively pinning new recipes and kid ideas (don't deny that you do this, too!), don't allow yourself to feel envy, inadequacy, guilt, or any other negative feeling that tends to creep into our minds as moms who think other moms have it all figured out or spend more time or do things better. Instead take a "momma moment" to think about and/or write down two things you do WELL (don't have to be material/physical things, could be a personality trait for example). If you're struggling, ask your husband and kids. We could all probably spend more time focusing on what we do well rather than how we are "lesser" than we should be.

Feel free to share with me:) God Bless!