Everyday Blessings

So I have been wondering when my mind/heart would choose the next post (I have a list of topics I have been thinking about) and then this morning I felt the urge to share how blessed I feel right now.

It is 6:33 and I just got done running. I am not including that to boast, I am including that because I never would have told you one year ago when I was miserably sick and still a little anxious at the beginning of our second (and unexpected) pregnancy that I would be just completing a 3 mile run at 6:30 in the morning and being excited about it!

Mia got up to eat a little earlier than normal today (4:30!) and both kids were making noises and I couldn't sleep so I thought, why not run?! Okay bring us back to my point. When I got home I just realized how blessed I am... to be healthy enough to run, to have healthy children who sleep well and love unconditionally (trust me even though I make Ethan cry often  because of that dreaded two letter word, N-O, he loves me with all his heart). I have a husband who provides for us so much so that I do not have to work right now! We both have amazing families who love support and help us out without hesitation. (Okay there are a LOT of other blessings but I have to stop somewhere...BUT...if you're reading this, I probably count you as a blessing as well;) )

Most importantly we have a God who is the definition of unconditional love...no matter how many times we turn our backs or neglect our relationship with him and ignore his grace and our salvation, he welcomes us with open arms. He has a plan. A Blessing.

 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6 ESV)

I have NO doubts that the current state of our marriage, our family, my heart is a result of seeking who and what God wants me to be rather than what I or others say I should be. I am certain I am still far from it...but I am forging on!

 I sincerely feel so grateful to have time off of work to focus on being a mom, a wife, and most importantly, God's child. I hope you are able to find everyday blessings amidst whatever life season you find yourself in!
Here is a glimpse of life with my two most special every day blessings;)...

E is 22 months. Has a lot of words in his vocabulary but is just starting to string them together as phrases. He loves playing with cars and trucks, coloring or "writing", doing puzzles and watching Bubble Guppies!

M is 5 months. She sleeps well at night, eats a lot, smiles often. Tries to roll over but has only gotten side to side and is trying to work off that chub by always trying to sit up even though she can't! She loves people watching, playing with her dolly, eating cereal, and observing her crazy big bro!

The flu hit hard last week especially for E... it was so hard to see him in pain and not be himself for so long, but we made it through and yet again I found myself thanking and praising God that it was just "a bug" because I cannot imagine it being something more serious or permanent and my heart and prayers go to any moms who do deal with that!


E actually laid on the couch...he obviously was not feeling well!



Later in the week...finally doing a little better...wearing his "haaaat"

My baby girl growing too fast! Size 9 mo pjs!

She's ready to "play". She gets bored easily and I have to move her all around!



The Imperfect Perfectionist

I have always called myself an "imperfect perfectionist" because I have the desire for all results (school, work, kids, husband, family, etc) to be "perfect", but I am not naturally organized or habited or committed in the planning and execution of the steps to getting those perfect results. Let me tell you, it is not easy to live that way!

Because of my perfectionist personality, I put a lot of pressure on myself and experience a lot of disappointment. Can any moms relate to this? As I have been working on figuring out how to be the best me possible, I have realized how flawed this perception and expectation of oneself is! (pretty dense of me to take 27 years to do so, huh??)

For starters, what is "perfect" anyway? I am going to reference Merriam-Webster's first 3 definitions of the adjective: a. being entirely without fault or defect. b. satisfying all requirements c. corresponding to an ideal standard or abstract concept.

The question that has been in my mind, and is even moreso after reading these definitions, is who am I trying to be perfect for? My husband? My kids? Society? Myself? God? Because if this idea of being "perfect" is according to an "ideal standard", who do I believe sets the standard?; and if it is truly an "abstract concept", how can it really be measured or defined?

In reality, it is the unattainable goals manifested by my own "perfect" standards, which are completely irrational and likely driven by society's pressure to be the biggest (well actually the thinnest!) and the best, that ultimately lead to the feelings of inadequacy, failure and disappointment.

 So, in all that mumbo jumbo, I think the realization needs to be that "perfect" in these regards is unattainable for anyone. No matter what it is I set out to do, there will be a flaw because the only person setting these standard is me, and we already established I am flawed and irrational ;).

My kids and husband do not require perfection of me. They desire true and unconditional love from a mom and wife who values herself in God's eyes and in their eyes. And through these eyes...

....I feel nothing but love and affirmation.

Also, in Hebrews 10:12-14 (NLT) it reads..

¹² But our High Priest offered himself to God as a single sacrifice for sins, good for all time. Then he sat down in the place of honor at God’s right hand. ¹³ There he waits until his enemies are humbled and made a footstool under his feet. ¹⁴ For by that one offering he forever made perfect those who are being made holy.

WOW... so, perfection has NOTHING to do with me, Christ's sacrifice at the cross makes me holy and perfect....well golly, what a blessing that I don't have to worry about being so imperfectly perfect all the time! As always, if I would just consistently rely on the Lord and ignore what society says...surprise, surprise: problem solved, disaster averted.

In closing, if at the end of each day I can say I loved with all my heart, I tried with all I had, I served God's purpose and embraced my salvation, then it was as close to perfect that the day (and I) can ever be.

I have hope that I will continue to work on accepting being imperfect in my own eyes and give myself a break because thanks to the grace of God and the love he offers me through Tommy, Mia and Ethan, I am perfect. What a blessed momma moment!

I will be praying any mommas reading this experience this as well.